Chapter 1

Once there was a goat. He was polka-dotted blue and pink. He loved eating shoelaces, especially green ones. His master (in the force) didn't like him eating all his green shoelaces, so he started feeding him spaghetti leftovers. But it didn't work; the goat just switched the spaghetti for the shoelaces. Every time the master tried to tie his shoes, the spaghetti fell apart. It was quite gross.

Not wanting to offend his goat too badly, the long suffering Master tried for a while just to tie his shoes with the spaghetti. But like I said, it kept falling apart and making an awful mess. Finally, he just got mad. Then a thought came to him: "Use the Force, Luke," it said. Ignoring the curious circumstance that caused him to hear voices, Luke concentrated the Force and channeled it into the spaghetti in order to tie them. The spaghetti exploded.

"Yuck!" Luke cried in disgust, shaking himself. It had gotten all over him, and produced little meatball fireworks, which were just making things worse each time they went off.

Luke, trying again, used the force once more, and promptly turned into an ordinary black, brown, and gray speckled goat. Meanwhile, the voice cackled loudly in Luke the goat's right ear. "Cackle cackle!!!...They fall for it every time!...cackle cackle!" screamed the voice hysterically in the middle of it's insane cackles. “I'll show you! You, you...VOICE!!" the enraged Luke cried to his right ear, and then he charged the biggest tree he could find. SMACK! He kind of stood there stunned for a moment, and then shook off the little stars swirling around, since as a goat he was used to this kind of thing. The Voice however, evidently not being of the goat variety was completely stunned, and fell silent for the time being. Feeling much better already, Luke ate the spaghetti and exploding meatballs since that head butting made him hungry, and then decided he'd better figure out how to turn into a human once again. The only thing he could think of was to ask his teacher, Yogi the Bear, and failing that, find out from his goat, how to go about being a goat properly.... By this time, the exploding meatballs in his stomach were giving him quite a tummy ache, so he decided to first eat some grass, because something inside him was telling him that that would make him feel better. But it didn't. It made him sick for a week. When he finally felt better, his goat decided the property was only big enough for one goat and started trying to fight him. The goat knocked Luke into a bunch of glue, and started the gluey goat revolution where all the goats started playing in glue and took over a mountain owned by the mob. Luke, however, was not a part of that.

He didn't know what to think when his little goat turned rebel and pushed him into a pile of glue. He sat there, drenched in glue, already feeling the stuff begin to congeal on him, and knowing that if he didn't get out of this mess soon, he'd end up just another case in paper mache and modern art. He thought fast. Nothing happened. He thought faster. Still nothing. He had thought his fast thinking would be able to rocket him out of this mess, but apparently he had to do something besides think! "Quiche," (pronounced 'keesh') he sighed. "Do I have to do EVERYTHING??" Shrugging his shoulders (if you have never seen a goat shrug his shoulders, you really ought to--it's an interesting sight), he attempted to stand. He felt the glue move slightly, but not enough. He pushed harder, and felt the glue strain to hold him. Just a little harder-

"What do you think you're doing?" exclaimed a female voice from behind him. Luke whipped around-and fell flat on his face in the glue. Luckily, it was hardening enough that he didn't stick too much to it and only lost half the hairs of his beard as he struggled back up. Quickly trying to regain his composure, he looked around for the female voice and saw a beautiful goat shaped tree nymph. He could tell she was a tree nymph because she was green and had flowers growing out of her ears, and he was pretty sure regular goats didn't do that. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked angrily, "I'm.." But she interrupted. "You made a mess on my flowers and that glue is positively smothering my dear niece!" Luke looked around and saw a tiny oak tree at the very edge of the puddle with two drops of glue on one of the bright green leaves. "Smothering! SMOTHERING! I'M SMOTHERING, NOT HER! WHY I, STUCK, AND YOU, DROPS, SMOTHERING!" Luke sputtered, and then took a deep breath. "EXCUSE ME Mrs. Flower-Ears, but I'll have you know that I did NOT make this mess, I was pushed into it by my goat, which has now joined the Mob, and is prancing all over some stupid mountain, and left me here, stuck. And on top of that, I'm not a goat, I'm a man, but the voice told me to use the force and POOF, and my tummy hurts! and you yell at me and SPLAT and half my beard is gone!" "I see....." mused the green goat-tree-nymph with flowers growing out of her ears. "Well, it's perfectly obvious your insane, but I'll help you get out since I'm feeling generous." POOF! She turned into a beautiful green lady shaped tree nymph with flowers growing out of her ears. "I'll go get help, who do you know who is powerful?" Luke thought, "....My master, Yogi the Bear, I need to see him anyway. He lives in those woods to the right, I was heading there when this happened." "Okay, I'll go get him." she said, and stretched her arms upward and-POOF!-changed into a beautiful green bird shaped tree nymph with flowers growing out of her ears. Off she flew to find Yogi the Bear.