They found Yogi the Bear talking to some wild looking kid, who was calling Yogi, Baloo; for some strange unknown reason. Luke had a sudden urge to butt the tangled haired boy right into a tree, but he fought down his urge while the flower-eared shape-shifter chatted with Yogi about insects. This annoyed Luke so badly that he used the force to throw a coconut from Hawaii at the budding bird. It knocked her out cold.
Yogi looked at Luke and said, "Patience, my young friend. That is not the way the cookie should crumble."
"Huh?" said Luke, who still never understood a thing his master said. The great wise magnanimous bear sighed.
"Grasshopper! What are you doing outside of your body?"
"What?" Luke asked, confused.
Yogi slapped a paw to his forehead. "How plainer can I be than that? What...are...you--"
"No, I understood what you said," Luke interrupted quickly. "I just didn't realize I left my body behind."
"Well, what did you think! It's stuck back there in that glue!"
"How did you know that?" Luke exclaimed.
The wise old bear folded his arms and drew himself up. "It is my business to know," he said wisely.
"Oh...okay," Luke replied warily, not wanting to get into a discussion of the mysteries of Yogi's art right now. "Well, help me get my body free," he went on quickly.
"Okay," the bear agreed, obviously a little disappointed they hadn't gotten into a deep discussion of his mysterious art. Quickly, he regained his composure and said briskly. "We must go then. Get the cabbage."
"The cabbage..." Luke began.
"Grasshopper!" Yogi barked. "No more questions. The teacher must show, he does not explain."
Luke shook his head and picked up the rotten cabbage that he had tried to warn Yogi about. Meanwhile, Yogi pulled a mysteriously shaped box out from under his right sleeve, and began putting all manner of things in it. Luke had seen this box before, but never questioned his master about it, but now his curiosity grew too strong for him to bare. Though he was afraid to question his master once again, curiosity got the best of him. "How is…What is that?"
"Haven't you ever seen a picnic basket before!" Yogi exclaimed exasperated. "We, or rather I, have a long journey back to your body grasshopper. Though you can fly, I am still in my body, and it will take longer to get there. You and the tree nymph may go ahead and wait if you like, but I must walk, and I must have food for the four-hour journey. Besides, you interrupted my meal!"
"That's not what I meant master, I mean, I've never seen a picnic basket that could fit in your sleeve, and yet hold a table, 4 chairs, a watermelon, honey, a loaf of bread, a thanksgiving turkey--"
"Will you never learn!" interrupted Yogi, "It is the ways of the force! And a simple matter of reaching into dimension Y through dimension Q by causing the flux of the space time continuum with the force making an axis vertical to both in which you place particle Beta, thus by causing the suspended animation of whatever quantity of items I wish to keep prepared," Yogi lectured. "No more questions! Or I will leave your pathetic body stuck in the glue for eternity! Or at least until you learn to hold your tongue." More confused then ever now, Luke decided to do just that. "And pick up your girl-friend!" Yogi snapped.
Luke was at first confused, but seeing as Flower-Brain was the only female around Luke figured that was who Yogi was talking about. Luke considered telling Yogi that she wasn't his girlfriend, but figured it could wait since he really didn't want to be stuck in glue forever. He walked over to where she had fallen from the coconut, and nudged her with his toe...
"Wakey-wakey flower-face" he whispered. He really didn't want to touch her, because being a shape shifter, she was very malleable, and when the coconut had hit her, it had formed a deep circular impression in her face. Making it look as half her head were gone. Had he killed her? he wondered? He really hadn't meant to throw the coconut that hard. Well, okay, maybe he had, but he didn't want to kill her. She stirred, and started to wake, and her face popped back into its normal bird-shape. She opened her eyes..
"Wha?... hey, YOU! You threw a coconut at me!!" Now she was all the way awake. "Poof!" she was a green girl shaped nymph with flowers growing out of her ears. She wagged her finger in his face, "thought you could throw stuff at me and get away with it did you!" Her face grew bright red, then purple, then blue, and she began to swell up. Luke was afraid she'd burst! He looked for something to hide behind, and ran to Yogi's basket. Just before he got to it, "BOOM!" SHE EXPLODED!! And in her place stood a 15-foot tall green budding dragon. She let out a jet of fire that reached 30 feet straight up in the air and then turned to look for Luke. Instead, she saw Yogi.
"Now now, children, how many times must I say this, that is not the way the cookie should crumble."
She let out a shriek/roar, and started to build up a flame to fry Yogi with when suddenly she hiccupped and choked. She coughed and gasped and when finally she got her breath she asked, "What? What was that?"
"That was me lady grasshopper" Poof! She turned into a grasshopper. "You and Luke must both learn humility and patience if you are ever to advance in the force." Yogi admonished sternly as he picked up the grasshopper and held her in the palm of his hand.
"No fair!" The grasshopper squeaked, "I don’t wanna learn the force!"
No comments:
Post a Comment