"Well, Blossom Fossom, you’d better get started," Yogi ordered settling himself down for another snack.
"ME!!" Blossom was flabbergasted. "Get started doing what?!"
"Why getting Luke out of the glue, of course," Yogi replied as if it was apparent.
"I believe that’s why we went and got you," Blossom retorted.
"Correct, Flower Head, but you must start without me, for the ever present need to keep myself in existence by taking in nourishment of proteins and vitamins is upon me once again. The lion of it roars with in me, saying it is time."
"What?!"
Yogi sighed, "I’m hungry, Grasshopper. Shall you never learn."
Blossom mumbled something under her breath to the effect of, "Learn what? Hubble rubbish? Stupid bear doesn’t even know his grammar." Yogi began his snack as Blossom thought hard to figure out how to get Luke out of the glue. She picked up an old sword she had found in her garden some months ago and began cutting Luke’s fur. By the time Yogi finished his snack, Luke was bald and the dried glue was chopped up into little-bitty pieces looking somewhat like cloudy smashed ice. Luke had somehow slept through the whole operation and was still sleeping soundly with the duck wedged between his horns protecting his last tuff of fur. Blossom wasn’t sure anything would wake either of them up, especially after she had dropped that bucket of water on them. Yogi, at this point, had also stretched out for a nap leaving Blossom as the only one awake. She faintly doodled circles in the dirt wanting to stuff something down Yogi’s throat since he snored very loudly. With her magic touch random plants spurted up out of the ground she was drawing circles in, poison ivy was one of the plants Blossom watched, and helped, grow. She suddenly smiled evilly, squatted down beside Yogi, and began growing strong vines all around him. Little pink flowers bloomed all over the vines, making Yogi look like a pink flower ball.
‘Ha! No guy likes pink,’ Blossom thought and she smiled smugly. ‘He’ll be totally disgusted when he wakes up, and stuck too.’ There was no way Blossom could’ve been prepared for what happened next. Yogi let out great big burp in the middle of a snore. It was really disgusting. The pink flower vines just fell over and died and there was no way Blossom was going to get anywhere near Yogi to restore them back to life. The duck jerked awake and crinkled her nose, the best a duck can, and up and flew away. Luke was wide-awake wanting to know what had exploded. Blossom looked at him and burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.
"What’s so funny?" Luke complained. "I heard something explode and I want to know what. You don’t have to laugh at me."
"Yogi-(snort)-snores and he-he belched in the-mid-dle of a snore," Blossom managed in the midst of all her laughter. "And look at yourself."
Luke looked down at his bare, furless legs, "What happened to my fur?!" He looked at Blossom, who was laughing too hard at this point to say anything else and turned away from her disgusted. That’s when he noticed the chopped glue and fur lying in a pile next to the sword. "Who did that?!" Luke exclaimed.
Blossom merely chortled helplessly.
Luke, growing angry, bent his head and pawed the roses up from Blossom’s garden as a threat. Blossom didn’t notice, she was too busy rolling with laughter. Luke started towards her, running at full speed. The dirt (and mud) flew behind him. All he saw was red fur--because that’s the color of the piece of fur that was stuck in his eye. Luke ran and gave it all he got to the laughing Flower Brains, or he would’ve if he hadn’t of missed and hit the tree. Blossom just laughed harder until she turned red in the face, then purple, then orange, then neon yellow, then poka-dotted green and pink! Well, anyway, she was laughing as hard as she could. Luke, on the other hand, wasn’t laughing. He was seeing stars, and little green men landing clumsily in a tree. In other words, he thought he was seeing things, but he wasn’t. He had hit the tree soooo hard that he had somehow ended up on his back, and since it was night he could see the stars that were in the sky, and little green men, well, they were little green men.
"Man, that’s not something you see everyday," the Voice said after being woken up by Luke hitting the tree.
"I’m hallucinating," Luke informed the Voice.
"No you’re not," the Voice replied.
"Yeah, I am," Luke responded irritatedly.
On seeing Luke having another conversation with himself, Blossom laughed even harder and started to wobble. She stumbled over her feel and landed on top of the rotten cabbage Luke had set at the edge of the glue puddle. This set up a stench to rival Yogi’s burp, and cut Blossom’s laughter off cold. Her face quit changing colors, and settled on a sea sick olive green color as she tried hard not to breath.
"Serves her right, brainless dryad!" the Voice laughed, "But just so you know, those little green men are still there, don’t hallucinations disappear?"
"Well, this is just a long hallucination..." Luke mumbled uncertainly.
"Sure, so…what do you think they are doing? That one on the right almost fell off the branch, heh, the parachutes are kinda cute. Wonder what they parachuted out off?"
"How should I know?" Luke huffed.
"Well, their your hallucinations…" the Voice dryly reminded him. "Hey, do you think they came from that banana?"
"Banana?" Luke looked around, "…Where?"
"Up further to your left, floating about six feet above the tree." the Voice informed Luke. "The one being attacked by your pet hair pulling duck."
Luke looked, and sure enough, there floated a huge yellow banana, about the size of a suitcase, and the duck who had kept him awake earlier was dive bombing it. As Luke watched she swooped down to the edge of the mutilated glue puddle and picked up the large violet purse that had appeared at her strange dance earlier, and carried it back towards the banana. As she flew, she began to swing the purse around her head, and upon reaching the banana, she gave it a huge WHACK! This caused the Banana to tip on it’s side, and it began a zig-zag course up towards the stars.
With a smug look on her bill, the duck flew down and settled on the ground near Luke with a satisfied "Quack!"
"Still hallucinating what I’m hallucinating?" the Voice asked sarcastically.
"Well, okay, maybe this really is happening, but you have to admit, it did seem like one at first." Luke responded grumpily. "After all, for all I know, you could be a hallucination!"
"Well, I’m not, I’m just a dead guy who’s sharing your head." the Voice commented matter-of-factly.
"WHAT?" shouted Luke, "NO WAY! How on earth could a dead guy put his voice in my head?"
"Well, I could tell you, but I think you have other things to worry about right now. Your ‘master’ just woke up."
Luke looked over towards Yogi, who was starting to wake and sniffing the air. "Who died?" Yogi complained. Then he sighted Blossom, "YOU! You sat on my cabbage! You killed the cabbage! Now who will save the world?"
Blossom (who had been trying to wipe the disgusting muck off herself) paused uncertainly and looked at Yogi. "Huh?"
"You have just single handedly sat on and killed the savior of the world! Now what will we have to defend earth against the Goober Uqyizlms Kylexer?"
"The who?" interrupted Luke.
"Don’t bother," advised the Voice, "I’ve told you before the guy was insane, but NO… you had to take him on as your master.
"Well, it didn’t exactly happen like that, I didn’t have much choice…" Luke began to explain when Yogi interrupted.
"THE GOOBER UQYIZLMS KYLEXER FROM BERZICUEL! G.U.K. for short! The ‘little green men!’ the ones who are coming to rule over us all unless we can discourage their mother ship; and Flower-Ears here has just managed to destroy our secret weapon! Now that I can’t warp that into their ship and convince them Earth is too stinky to attack, what will we DO???" He turned and glared once more at Blossom.
"Well it’s not my fault!" Blossom retorted, "I didn’t mean to sit on your stupid cabbage, and besides, you should have put it in a safer place!"
"I had asked Luke to carry it…" Yogi grumbled as he turned his baleful gaze on Luke. But then he shook his head as he looked at the pitiful sight of a bald goat with one tuft of hair standing alone on the very top of it’s head. "Then again, I suppose that you couldn’t continue to carry the cabbage once you returned to the physical body, seeing as you have no hands…" Yogi sighed and scratched his head and returned to his usual calm self. "Ah well, when the Blizzard melts and falls out of the cup, crumble another cookie and get a new Blizzard free from the Dairy Queen." Yogi mumbled philosophically.
"Ummm, I hate to interrupt this highly intelligent conversation," commented the Voice to Luke, "But your G.U.K.s are now all landed on the tree and unpacking and assembling some strange looking things from their cute little back packs."
Yogi and Blossom continued to semi argue, semi philosophize on the merits of cabbage and cookies, so Luke looked up to where the Voice had indicated. Sure enough, they were pulling wires, tubes, and other strange shaped pieces from the backpacks. Luke thought about warning Yogi, but then he thought he’d rather get in his normal body first, and then he’d warn Yogi about the, umm, Guks? "Umm, excuse me master, but could you please return me to my body? I could then help you find another rotten cabbage if you want…."
"QUACK! Quack, quack quack quack, qUACK quACK QUack!" Everyone turned to look at the duck surprised at this outburst. "Quack quack…quack." She finished decisively nodding her head.
Confused, Luke turned to Yogi for a translation, but it was Blossom who understood. Turning into her duck shape with flowers growing out of her ears, Blossom informed them that they need to 1) talk quieter, she was almost asleep and 2) prepare for battle against the G.U.K.s.
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